Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona:
1. Supporting Actress in a Woody Allen Movie (Check!)
2. Fiery Latina Stereotype (Check!)
3. Lesbian Make-Out with Scarlett Johansson (Check!)
4. Fantastic Performance (Check!)



Viola Davis, Doubt:
Isn't it great when people with the smallest roles give the best performances? Sure I was only in one and a half scenes for a 12 minute total, but I made our greatest living actress, Meryl Streep, look like she was the new drag queen in the latest performance of "Late Night Catechism."



Amy Adams, Doubt:
My career started off with a bang. That "Drop Dead Gorgeous" was super great! Then I got an Oscar nomination ("Junebug"), then I missed an Oscar nomination for playing a princess ("Enchanted"), now I'm back again. Basically, I can do no wrong. However, I'll never win this one. Viola had more energy in her 12 minutes than my character ever did! Maybe next time.



Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler:
1. Hooker with a Heart of Gold (Check!)
2. Previous Oscar Win for a Hilarious Performance that Nobody Thought I Deserved (Check!)
3. Naked in My Last Three Movies (Check!)
4. As Connie Krogh says, "She's 45, did you see that body? I'm not sure about an Oscar, but she should win something!" (Check!)
5. A Wonderful Performance that was Almost as Heartfelt as Mickey Rourke's (Check!)


Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:
I consider this my consolation prize for not getting the "Hustle & Flow" nomination. It really is hard out here for a pimp!

Will Win: Penelope Cruz
Should Win: Viola Davis