Best Actress

Kate Winslet, The Reader:
The Susan Lucci of the Oscars knew what she was doing when she signed on to do a Holocaust movie, the awards would be pouring in. Some called it a supporting role (even though she was the only character to be played by the same actor for the film's duration), some said it was leading, some said it was poor taste, some said it made Nazi's look hot, but all said it was great! And for that we agree...she did make Nazi's hot! Oh yeah, and she amazing. If Kate doesn't win this one, watch out Meryl, we'll be on your doorstep!


Meryl Streep, Doubt:
Like we said, we'll be on your doorstep!


Angelina Jolie, Changeling:
Hello, I had the scariest poster of the year. I mean, look at it: I'm about to eat that little boy because he's a fake, and that's what I'll do to the Academy if they don't give me another damn Oscar! PLEASE RESPECT ME! I take in children, I'm a humanitarian, I sleep with Brad Pitt. Plus, I yelled and cried a lot in this movie. Must I do anything more?


Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married:
A normally irritating actress that got the memo this year. Not only did she play an addict, but she also uglified! Since the booby shot in "Brokeback Mountain" didn't help her shed that "Princess Diaries" thing, poor Anne thinks this is her year. Good luck with that.


Melissa Leo, Frozen River:
The only actress on this list that looks like a normal human being. And speaking from experience, she has that Western New York haircut down pat. She's been in this biz for years and is just now getting her due. Unfortunately, it probably won't last. Unlike Richard Jenkins, she's a woman and will be required to get plastic surgery soon if she wants to make a real go of it. :(

Will Win: Kate Winslet
Should Win: Kate Winslet